Your Childhood Trauma Silently Sabotages Your Success

You got to have enough reasons to do something. One of the challenges [music] that most of us have is that we have a

wish. I wish I had a million. I wish I had $100,000. I wish I wish I wish. No,

you have to have an ordinate desire to have it. And you got to be willing to do whatever it takes [music] legally to get

what you want. So, that's one of the things. What if the biggest obstacle to your

next level of success isn't a strategy problem or a skill gap, but a blind spot

that you've carried since childhood? Well, today's guest has spent 35 years helping high achievers unlock what's

been holding them back all along. Welcome back to the root of all success. I am your host, the real Jason Duncan,

and this is episode 346, take two. For those of us behind the scene that know we've had a lot of

technical problems, but hopefully this one's working. Uh my guest today is Curtis McCullum. He's a mindset coach, a

clinical hypnotherapist, and the founder of bespoke human potential coaching. And

through his legit mindset framework, which we'll talk about today, and some powerful modalities like NLP and mental

emotional release, Curtis helps CEOs, he helps founders, he helps entrepreneurs like you reprogram the subconscious

blocks that have silently held them back for years. He's also the host of his own

show, The Legit Mindset Podcast, which you can hear on any podcast player out there and and yours truly was one of his

very first guests on that show. So, you should go check it out. And then in that show, he dives deep into success and mindset and personal transformation. So,

Curtis, welcome to the show. Thank you, Jason, for having me today, man.

Well, you've um you've said that that most entrepreneurs are fighting battles

they don't even know that they're in. subconscious patterns that form as early as early childhood. So, what do you what

do you see as the most common blind spot in high performing founders that's

that's secretly sabotaging all of their growth? You know, when you actually look at it,

when you take a look at most individuals, I think the biggest thing that we all suffer from sometimes is the

feeling of not being good enough, not being worthy, not being the the the

imposttor syndrome. So even though we are successful at doing what we're doing, sometimes deep inside there is

something that's preventing us from actually moving to the next level, breaking that income ceiling or breaking

that that relationship situation. Couple of people I've been coaching lately is they were success on paper, but the

relationships were a mess. Why? Because they still had some baggage that they were carrying that they need to get rid

of. Now you spent over as I said the intro 35 years in personal development in uh

sales and leadership. So you know now you're doing something that's pretty

interesting which we're going to talk about. When did you first realize that surface level tactics weren't enough and

that the real work had to happen at this subconscious level that you're talking about?

That's a good question because when I first started, I actually started about almost 354 years ago as you said and the

goal at that moment was for me to become a sales trainer or motivational speaker,

you know. So, I went to see all the greats Tony Robbins, uh, Zig Ziggler, Dennis Weightley. I studied all of them.

I had a university on wheels and I went into sales. I said, "Okay, I'm going to go into sales because I wanted to prove

that my theory worked." And it did. I mean, within less than 18 months, I was number one in the company. I broke

company records that never been broken before. And so, I was working it and then boom, just like most of us, I

sabotaged. Um, and I I hit a roadblock. And the the sad part about that is that

or best part whichever how you look at it is that I actually stayed in the financial services industry for almost

35 years, you know, as a sales manager in sales, breaking sales and doing all this kind of stuff. And then five years

ago, I I wanted to become a coach. I said, "Okay, I have a I'm in a position I can

retire." And I did. And I went into coaching. And then this is where it really hit me. Um Jason is that I became

a certified executive coach. Hated it. Hated it. Absolutely hated it because that's not what made me successful.

Telling you telling me I'm telling you how to set a goal or oh what what was your week like this week? I'm like oh

man this is not fun at all. And so I went back to my roots. I became a certified clinical hypnotherapist. I

became master practitioner in neural linguistic programming and mental and emotional release because I felt that in

order to have true change it can't just be cognitive. Cognitive is just talking

about it. I thought that we need something deeper which is 95% of all our behavior on a subconscious level.

Now your framework that you've invented or come up with is called the legit mindset which stands for learn, grow,

expand, transform. So walk us through how that model came together and why

those four stages matter. Well um for some I was asking God and

sometimes people call it God universe or whatever you call it. Don't send Jason or me a note that that's the label that

you use. And always remember guys it's a label because everybody's perception of the world deals with labels. So the

meaning of it is your own personal meaning. But my meaning was God. And I was asking God, hey, what is this life

all about? You know, I've had some success. I've had some failures. Have some uh setbacks, heartbreaks, and all

of these things. What is it all about? And I read a book called Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. I think his name is

Bruce Weiss. And in that book, he was doing some therapy with on a young lady.

And what the gist of it was that in her life or in between lives cuz she she was

dealing with past lives that everything was about learning. Meaning like in her

perception of her world that even in her out the life we were still learning and then like a light bulb came on like oh

my god that's it. It's like whatever we're going through whatever this journey is all about it's all about

learning. It's all about growing. It's all about expanding. It's all about transforming and it doesn't stop. I mean

because every time we reach a new plateau, every time we reach reach set a new goal, a new opportunity, guess what?

We have to learn it. We have to grow from it. We have to expand. We have to transform.

So you're you're working with CEOs, you're working with entrepreneurs who sometimes look successful on the outside

but feel stuck on the inside. So what's that what's the moment that most of them finally admit that something deeper is

going on? That's the hard part. That's the challenging for most CEOs and

entrepreneurs. No one wants to admit that there's something going on. They

see it, they feel it, they know they're not getting the results that they want, but no one wants to be coached, right?

Uh and and and it's like and it's sometimes when they come to me, it's almost like a last resort type thing.

It's like I've tried I tried the firewalk with Tony Robbins. I did this. I've I've I've gone to therapy. I've

done all of these things and I still have this something that's blocking me from from being who I am. I think one of

the biggest things I always tell individuals is that the first level of of growth is acknowledging

and and and I tell people all the time, it's okay not to be okay, but it's not

okay to be pretend that you're okay and you're not. So, as soon as we can be

okay with admitting that yeah, something is not quite right, that's where growth

actually starts. Acknowledgement. Okay. So, so in your own journey, um was there

a specific breakthrough or a breakdown uh that fundamentally changed how you were approaching personal growth?

[laughter] And it's every day uh really it is I think as late as like I said it's never

ending. That's the thing about it too. People said well I've arrived. No you haven't. If you have that means you stop

growing, you stop learning. It's always a continuous process. I I can I love to

tell the stories because uh uh few weeks ago, I'm saying weeks, I'm I'm a country

boy from Mississippi, so I understand the Tennessee thing. So, so a few days might be a few months or even years. So,

but a few months ago, I was getting all these breakthroughs for these individuals I was working with. I mean,

like sometimes daily, I mean, really quick breakthroughs and they like changed their lives. And then I looked

at myself. I'm like, what's what's wrong? Something is not quite right with me. What is it? And so I called one of

my buddies and we did a mental and an emotional release session which takes about 10 minutes. And and then the

thought that was coming up for me was that success is hard and difficult.

Success is hard and difficult. And in mental and emotional release, you actually kind of allow yourself to allow

your subconscious to flow back to that time. whatever it says, that's what we do. And

for me, it said I was around two. Um, and then I float back to age two. I

didn't know what's going on at age two and we got some learnings that I'm persistent. I'm successful. I'm

confident. That was the learnings I got from that. Floated back and gave all the learnings to all the things, all the

failures and setbacks I've had with that feeling that new learning. Well, I was

curious. I called my mom. I says, "Mom, what was happening in my life around age two?" She said, "Oh," she's like, she

laughed. She's like, "Oh, your sister was being born and she was in diapers."

I mean, you were in diapers and she was being born and I didn't want two babies in diapers at the same time. So, I

needed to potty train you at 18 months. This is what she said. And it was hard

and difficult. The same thing that I accepted and decided at age two when my mom was

penetrating me was the same thing that was sabotaging me along my life all of

my life really. I mean I can remember some when I go back and look at some instances I I can recall it easily that

when I sabotage is because this belief that is hard and is difficult.

you know, there's um there's a lot of skepticism, I'm sure you know, around modalities like hypnotherapy and and

even NLP. So, how do you how do you explain what you do to someone who's

never considered that kind of work before? That's a good question, too, Jason. Number one,

you've already been hypnotized because hypn hypnotism or hypnosis is

just is just focused attention. And if you've ever been in a situation

where you been in the zone, things just working for you. I mean,

it's just like you're on autopilot and things are just falling into place. That's a form of hypnosis. If you've

ever been driving and you kind of kind of space out a little bit, but you make

it to your destination safely and you don't recall how you got there, that's a

form of hypnosis. Or have you been in a movie where you suspended your actual critical faculty and you're laughing and

you're crying and that's a movie. You know it's a movie but it's affecting your emotions in a certain way. That's a

form of hypnosis. Meaning like you are your critical faculty is relaxed. Then

the the the the focus is now shifted so that now your mind can focus on

something specifically. That's what we do on purpose and with purpose.

So we take your thought your thoughts and now we relax your critical faculty

so that now you can talk to the bigger part of yourself which is 95% of all of

our behavior then that's where most change happens. So it's like people say

I've never been hypnotized. Yeah. If you watch the commercial especially this day this lately these

drug commercials lately they hypnotize you instantly. Why? They have you dancing to music that you very

comfortable with. You forget that that's a drug commercial and they're talking about someone dying from diabetes.

So sometimes I have to help people be de dehypnotized in order for it to actually

hypnotize them to to to have really positive change. And you also talk about of course the

name of your your coaching company is Bespoke Human Potential Coaching. And so you talk about bespoke daily mental

supplements, right? Yes. So what what does ongoing subconscious

maintenance look like for somebody who's already had a breakthrough? So they went through I got a breakthrough, realize

that there's something going on deep. How do you how do you do this ongoing subconscious maintenance with these bespoke daily mental supplements? Well,

the and what what I do is in when we doing a session and the first part of

our session, if you go through a breakthrough with me, it's a eight hour session. It's a one day mindset reset

what we call it. So, it's four hours one day and four hours the second day. And during that day, we do talk to you

cognitively, find out what is the root cause of whatever was driving your behavior. Then we find out all the

learnings. We find out what your goals and your objectives are and we formulate your words through a what I call a

bespoke daily mental supplement. So what it is is just a a meditation where where

where I'm relaxing you, telling you to close your eyes, take deep breaths, relax, and then we tell you what you

already know, what you want to believe. So that helps condition the new behavior

that we we've already installed. So that kind of keeps it going. And also what I do, I teach you how to do self-hypnosis.

That's the most powerful part of it is now I'm teaching you tools so that you

can continue to to to actually condition the mind. It's interesting to me that we

take for granted that life changes is permanent, which it

can be. And but think about all the negativity that we are exposed to every

day. And so it's so important just like we have dental hygiene, we have we need

mental hygiene. And part of that I formulated the bespoke daily mental supplements.

All right, we're going to get back to Curtis in just a moment, but I've got a word from our sponsor. And one little thing I want to share with you as a

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yourself and you can book that confidential session with a [music] specialist. Now, let's get back to the show. So Curtis, a lot of people think

that mindset work is about positive thinking or it's about motivation. What what do

you think is the biggest misconception about what real transformation actually requires?

Work. [laughter] Uh yeah, magic is in the action, baby. Yeah, magic is in the action. It's like

the bottom line, real transformation is not hype. It's not, you know, like I said before, I mentioned just in

passing, you know, I've done the Farah Walk and I felt really good when I left,

you know, and I'm like, "Oh my god, I can change the world." And then 24 to 48 hours later, I'm like, I'm the same old

person I was before because I didn't have real change. Real change basically is really identifying what is the root

cause that's actually driving the behavior that you want to change. And it's usually something that is on a

subconscious level and not conscious level. uh to give you like the example I used before is like okay every time I hit

this this high when I became number one in the world I talked about that earlier in the show I sabotaged

and this is how bad I sabotaged I do not I do not tell anyone to do this in my

number one speech in front of a thousand people I dropped the mic and quit the company

and so that's how bad m was uh So, so, so, so basically what I'm saying is that

these things are just but it takes work. It takes it takes conscious effort to

really dig deep a little bit and then to maintain it just like anything else. I

mean, you know, I I have a trainer I have a trainer for for for my body, for

nutrition, right? And I work out three days a week. Three days, you know, like

I'm 61, but I don't feel 61. I don't look 61. I don't have to take any medications. Why? Because I'm going to

either invest in my health or pay for bad health.

And that's kind of what it's all about. Are you willing to invest in your mindset

or you pay a price with less income or with bad relationships or with

whatever. So you you you have to make that choice. So, you use uh mental

emotional release. I think you even mentioned that earlier in the show. Yes. And you do that to help clients let go

of these negative emotions without having to relive that trauma. And Absolutely. And I imagine it is. But how is that

different from traditional therapy or talk-based coaching? Well, um for one negative emotion, it

takes about eight minutes. I mean 8 to 10 minutes to release that

negative emotion. That's how fast it is. I mean it's quick. It's fast. It's I

mean it's interesting when you go through going through it. And normally we go through we start with anger anger,

sadness, guilt, fear, the big ones and then whatever we've we've kind of uncovered during our cognitive session.

So that part of the session of the breakthrough might have about an hour and a half, maybe two hours of uh what

what I call clean up or baggage work. [snorts] But yeah, that's the difference is that when when a client was working

with me, she said, "Curtis, you did more in one hour than I did with 10 years of

therapy." Because why do you think that is though? I that's really interesting to me and I

don't disagree with you. I don't I don't I believe you. So, but why do you think that is? Well, because the fact that

this is the thing, most people talk about symptoms. So, if a if even a if a coach if you go

to a coach and says, "Wow, I'm procrastinating." Then they'll say, "Okay, great. When are you

procrastinating?" "Oh, when I'm getting ready to do a report." Okay, so now let's work on that. So now when you get

ready to do the report, uh think about not procrastinating or now what are you going to do instead, right? So now

you're doing more willpower. Willpower is only 5% of our behavior. That's why

we get tired. That's why people burn out is because they're using their willpower. The difference is is that you

says, "I'm procrastinating." I says, "Great. When was the first time that ever happened?"

You're like, "No one ever asked me that question." Yeah. When was the first time it happened? Oh, I remember that when I

was in the second grade and the teacher told me to do something and I didn't do

it until the last minute. Okay, now what was happening in your life at that time to figure out what is oh I remember now

whatever happened. So now what we've done is instead of dealing with the

current issue of procrastination that procrastination may not have nothing to do with procrastination. It may be

something that the teacher said when you were in grade school that you always you are always slow. You never have your

stuff on time. That's the original belief. So through

mental and emotional release is that we go back to that root and get rid of the

root and give it a new learning. You remember it's all about learning. The subconscious mind loves learning. It

loves to know it. Once it learns what it needs to learn, it let go. It lets go of

the emotion that's actually being held or the feelings of that emotion. Now, the the the thought is still there, but

when you look at the incident in in real time, it's not there anymore. And that's

the difference. Curtis, what's something that you used to believe that you don't believe anymore?

[laughter] Can I say that on the air? No. No. Yeah. That's why I ask it.

Well, no. Well, no. True. Well, you know, to be totally honest with you is that uh I was born and raised in

Mississippi. I mean, I was born and raised in Mississippi in the 60s and my father was a fire and brimstone

preacher. Um and the the church that we went to was was very very conservative

in the sense that everybody was going to hell. And so one of the biggest beliefs

that that really caused me a lot of trauma was was was my religious experience

that I had to get over that. I mean because I always had a conflict with with with who I was becoming. You know,

I'm I'm I'm you know, I was generating at one point over a million dollars in sales with a team of three or four. And

then I have a conflict of uh is this godlike or this not or is I'm doing the

right thing and all of this. So basically those big conflicts like that really really really really really did

something for me. So that I don't believe anymore. I now have reconcile

the fact that that that's not true and that the God I serve wants me to be

rich, wants me to be prosperous, want me to be whatever I need to be. And and and

one of the things I always tell people all the time is the there's a passage in

the Bible that that Paul talks about and I just use it as a principle. He says, "God is able to do exceedingly

abundantly above all we ask or think according to the power that works within us." And so I truly believe that we're

not limited to what we can have. And we cannot blame God for what we don't have.

That's the thing about it. And that's the big belief I have now. We don't blame I don't blame the outside world

for where I am, wherever I am on my journey right now. I'm here because of my thoughts. I'm here because of what I

believe. I'm here because of my own personal actions. And that passage to me says God is not on on on the judge's not

being judged because he says he's able. But he says you got to ask or think. That means that we have the power of

thought. We have the power to change our minds and we have the power. We have I believe that we have all the resources

within us to become the best version of ourselves. So when we able to tap into that power, get rid of the baggage and

tap into that power, things happen and things happen quickly. So the name of this show is the root of

all success. So I got to ask some questions around that. So what what do you believe Curtis in all these years of

you being successful has been the one thing that has unlocked success for you more than anything else?

I would I would still go back to to kind of mindset and persistence. I mean, you

know, like I think in the think in the book in the book Think and Grow Rich, he talks about definitess of purpose,

right? You got to have enough reasons to do something. One of the challenges that most of us have is that we have a wish.

I wish I had a million dollars. I wish I had $100,000. I wish I wish I wish. No,

you got you have an ordinate desire to have it. And you got to be willing to do whatever it takes legally to get what

you want. So that's one of the things I think is just that that having that ardent desire and really want to. And

that's even comes with change. You know, if you're not ready to change, you know, I I interview people all the time and

I'm like, okay, from one to 10, where are you on a on a on a on a on the scale of one is a change? One meaning like nah

and 10 meaning like, yeah, I got to do it today. And they said, I'm about three. I says, "Okay, I don't deal with

threes cuz threes to me mean is not you don't have you don't have what it takes to actually change. You have a wish. You

don't really want to change." So, how do you personally define that word success?

Now, I I define it with with with the legit mindset meaning like regardless of what we're

going through, success is not failures are not failures. Failures is an opportunity for us to learn. Failures

setbacks are not setbacks. It's just wow. Sometimes setbacks are set ups, you

know, and setbacks it it's like now it's setting me up for something new. It's now a setback or or or failure is like

wow, what can I do differently in order for me to actually become who I want to become. So now for me when I think about

success man I truly think about success I think about the fact that whatever I'm going through whatever I'm experiencing

right now either if it's good bad or indifferent it doesn't really matter I'm this still a learning opportunity for me

it's something that I can grow from that I can expand and I can definitely transform and become a better ver version of Curtis

based on that definition Curtis do you believe you consider yourself to be successful

absolutely Absolutely. Absolutely. And success because guess what? Our

whole ideal is I'm okay when I'm feeling sad. I'm okay when I'm feeling like not doing

what I'm supposed to do because wherever I'm going through at the time, that's all it is is that it

it's an emotion that needs to be communicated. And sometimes that that's one of the fears is like, "Wow, I'm I'm

an entrepreneur. I supposed to be on all the time." Well, no. You're human. Sometimes we don't feel like it and it's

okay and that's when we need to stop and allow ourselves to communicate with ourselves. I tell people just stop. It's

like you know I'm feeling angry. I'm not angry. I'm not identified with anger. I am feeling anger. I'm feeling like I'm

not successful today. Well, sometimes you feel like that and that's okay. Now,

now you have to stop and says, "Okay, what is it that's driving this feeling?"

Oh, okay. Yeah, because X, Y, and Z or this or because my wife said something

or whatever it is and your mind and you have the power to really change it

because once you get a good meaning for it and we can reframe it from that lens, it becomes powerful. Then the

subconscious I okay okay now I feel good again I'm okay. I love it man. Well thank you for

sharing that. So as we get ready to close out our conversation today I have a few rapid fire questions I want to ask

you. Are you ready for those? Let me let me put my seat belt on. Go ahead. All right. Here we go. All right. First

one. What's one book that shaped your understanding of the mind more than

anything else? Think and Grow Rich. I love it. I love it. You and I are on the same page there. All right. Second,

what's the best investment you've ever made in yourself?

Probably I would say in in myself would be

learning learning new things. I mean because I love to learn. I'm I'm a life learner, you I think I think you I think

you you shared with me when you're on the show with me that uh cyber psych cyber not psychonet I can't even say

psychocybernetics yeah psychosybernetics and so soon as you said it I've read it many times I

went and started reading again so yeah I love learning and it's been great the fifth time is even better

yes [laughter] it gets better every time you read it all right final one for today Curtis if

you could go back and coach your younger self through any one moment. What moment

would you choose and why? That's a good one. Uh probably the the

one that always comes to mind for me. Uh and I've had a few is is when I became

number one in the world. Um I was number one. I was I was in the insurance industry. I was number one in the

company. I broke records. And and if I could have told myself then

what I know now that the feelings that I was having

it was natural. You know my my my I think for me is like

that moment was I felt it was defining and then even that moment I always thought that was the moment that drove

this my behavior throughout my career and that would we find out it wasn't but that would be the one just like wow girl

you you're okay Curtis you can go through this is you know yeah that's the

one thing yeah well Curtis man congratulations on your success and what you've been able to

build over these past 30 plus years, man. It's awesome what you're doing. I love your mindset. I love the humility

in your spirit. I can see it and feel it. I know what you're trying to accomplish when you and I have the same

views about a lot of things, same same perspectives and and let's face it, that's good to get around people that

are that have the sameness. You know, I I you know, diver there is something to diversity, but I I think there's

something to sameness as well when we get around people who are the same and there's something good in that. And I I appreciate you for being here. So, how

can people get in touch with you? How can people connect with you? [snorts] They can connect with me at my website.

They can go to uh bespoke human potential coaching or just go to curtismull.com. You'll still get there

and where there you'll see all the things that I offer. You can get a free consultation there where you can come

Everything on LinkedIn and also Facebook and Instagram and all of those

platforms. YouTube. I have a lot of stuff on YouTube, too. So, you can kind of get a feel for who I am. And then when you're ready, just just give me a

call. We'll sit down and talk. Well, for those of you listening and you want to know how to spell his name is Curtis, C u Ris Curtis and McCullum is

MCCU LOM. That's MCC Loom M. Curtis McCullum.

Curtis, thank you for being on the show. Congrats on your success and uh we really appreciate you being a guest here today.

Oh, man. It's been my pleasure. Great conversation, man. Well, there you have it. Another very successful person sharing a journey

through growth over decades of understanding what the human mind

potential actually has and how to go back to that block. You know, for him, he talked about being that block started

when he was 18 months old getting potty trained. He didn't even have the thought about it. He didn't he didn't understand

it yet. It was there. I wonder what's there in in old Jason Duncan's brain. I wonder what's I wonder what's in the

subconscious of of blocking me. But you know what? That's the cool thing about hypnotherapy. I I I love what he does.

If you've never looked into hypnotherapy, it is not this whackadoodle thing where they're going to make you pluck like a chicken. That's

not what this is. I would encourage you to take a look at it. Go look into it. I I have a I have a hypnotherapist I work

with on a fairly regular basis. I love working with them. And I think that somebody like Curtis could be a good

opportunity for you. If you're a CEO, if you're a leader, you're an executive, you're an entrepreneur. This is this is

one little extra way to dig into what you're missing, like get to that next

level. So, so go check it out. And thank you for listening to the show. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for being

here today. And I want you to tune in again next week when I talk with yet another very successful uh person about

his or her journey to success. Until then, as always, I am the real Jason Duncan and Jesus is King.

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edition of The Root of All Success with the Real Jason Duncan. If you've enjoyed this week's episode, visit the

roottoofallsuccess.com to access the show notes and other helpful resources. Follow Jason on

of all success. ass.

This podcast is a part of the Seuite Radio Network. For more top business

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